Oct. 21, 2011

Our co-founders Greg and Julie Alexander, along with Fr. Justin Dean, co-hosts for a series on EWTN about marriages that recovered from severe problems (“Marriage Works In Christ, Broken and Blessed”).  Now they are reuniting to do a radio show on the same topic. It will initially air on seven Catholic radio stations covering a multi-state area, and could possibly be picked up by many other stations once it airs.

We are looking for a few couples who will be interested in sharing their story on the radio of going from “broken to blessed” (interview-style format). To be considered for this fun and important volunteer activity, please submit your story for review, and be sure to include your contact info. E-mail a summary (no more than 5,000 words) to Greg Alexander at greg@thealexanderhouse.org.

This show has the potential to positively change the lives of many couples and entire families in our country. If your marriage journey sounds like a good “fit” for the project, prayerfully consider becoming involved!

Our Marriage Coaches will assist you identify, set and achieve your personal goals for your marriage. They also will help you:

• obtain a Christian vision about marriage
• learn realistic and practical tools to build and strengthen your marriage
• view problems as opportunities to serve your spouse
• communicate effectively and manage conflict
• overcome hurdles that make you incapable of “moving forward” towards healing
• build or restore trust
• renew appreciation and affection
• release and heal old baggage
• learn to forgive as God forgives, and
• build and maintain a strong foundation for marriage.

Covenant of Love (COL) is a ministry…a call to action…an initiative and a resource offered to parishes to strengthen existing marriage ministries or a foundation upon which to build one. It works to educate, strengthen, promote and advocate the splendor and truth of God’s plan for marriage.

COL was designed to help create and foster a stronger marriage community at the parish level. This ministry will provide opportunities to become educated on marriage in accordance with Church teaching and it will enrich good marriages. It will advocate for the dignity, sanctity and permanence of marriage and most importantly will be a vehicle to provide practical tools for couples to successfully and joyfully live out God’s plan for their vocation of marriage, in turn giving them encouragement and hope in their marriage relationships.

COL will coordinate, create and offer various marriage education and enrichment opportunities for the parish and will be comprised of several sub-ministries (i.e. Couples of Faith and the Marriage Disciples). If you already have a marriage ministry or couples ministry, we can assist you in adding new dimensions that will enhance what you are already doing. Our programs can be easily blended into an existing marriage ministry, or it can become the foundation to build a new one.

Hermas

“What then shall the husband do, if the wife continue in this disposition [adultery]? Let him divorce her, and let the husband remain single. But if he divorce his wife and marry another, he too commits adultery” (The Shepherd 4:1:6 – 80 AD)

Justin Martyr

“In regard to chastity, [Jesus] has this to say: ‘If anyone look with lust at a woman, he has already before God committed adultery in his heart.’ And, ‘Whoever marries a woman who has been divorced from another husband, commits adultery.’ According to our Teacher, just as they are sinners who contract a second marriage, even though it be in accord with human law, so also are they sinners who look with lustful desire at a woman. He repudiates not only one who actually commits adultery, but even one who wishes to do so; for not only our actions are manifest to God, but even our thoughts” (First Apology 15 – 151 AD)

Clement of Alexandria

“That Scripture counsels marriage, however, and never allows any release from the union, is expressly contained in the law: ‘You shall not divorce a wife, except for reason of immorality.’ And it regards as adultery the marriage of a spouse, while the one from whom a separation was made is still alive. ‘Whoever takes a divorced woman as wife commits adultery,’ it says; for ‘if anyone divorce his wife, he debauches her’; that is, he compels her to commit adultery. And not only does he that divorces her become the cause of this, but also he that takes the woman and gives her the opportunity of sinning; for if he did not take her, she would return to her husband” (Miscellanies 2:23:145:3 – 208 AD)

Origen

“Just as a woman is an adulteress, even though she seem to be married to a man, while a former husband yet lives, so also the man who seems to marry her who has been divorced does not marry her, but, according to the declaration of our Savior, he commits adultery with her” (Commentaries on Matthew 14:24 – 248 AD)

Council of Elvira

“Likewise, women who have left their husbands for no prior cause and have joined themselves with others, may not even at death receive Communion” (Canon 8 – 300 AD)

“Likewise, a woman of the faith [i.e. a baptized person] who has left an adulterous husband of the faith and marries another, her marrying in this manner is prohibited. If she has so married, she may not receive Communion—unless he that she has left has since departed from this world” (Canon 9 – 300 AD)

“If she whom a catechumen [an unbaptized person studying the faith] has left shall have married a husband, she is able to be admitted to the fountain of baptism. This shall also be observed in the instance where it is the woman who is the catechumen. But if a woman of the faithful is taken in marriage by a man who left an innocent wife, and if she knew that he had a wife whom he had left without cause, it is determined that Communion is not to be given to her even at death” (Canon 10 – 300 AD)

Basil the Great

“A man who marries after another man’s wife has been taken away from him will be charged with adultery in the case of the first woman; but in the case of the second he will be guiltless” (Second Canonical Letter to Amphilochius 199:37 – 375 AD)

Ambrose of Milan

“No one is permitted to know a woman other than his wife. The marital right is given you for this reason: lest you fall into the snare and sin with a strange woman. ‘If you are bound to a wife do not seek a divorce’; for you are not permitted, while your wife lives, to marry another” (Abraham 1:7:59 – 387 AD)

“You dismiss your wife, therefore, as if by right and without being charged with wrongdoing; and you suppose it is proper for you to do so because no human law forbids it; but divine law forbids it. Anyone who obeys men ought to stand in awe of God. Hear the law of the Lord, which even they who propose our laws must obey: ‘What God has joined together let no man put asunder’” (Commentary on Luke8:5 – 389 AD)

Jerome

“Do not tell me about the violence of the ravisher, about the persuasiveness of a mother, about the authority of a father, about the influence of relatives, about the intrigues and insolence of servants, or about household [financial] losses. So long as a husband lives, be he adulterer, be he sodomite, be he addicted to every kind of vice, if she left him on account of his crimes, he is her husband still and she may not take another” (Letters 55:3 – 396 AD)

“Wherever there is fornication and a suspicion of fornication, a wife is freely dismissed. Because it is always possible that someone may calumniate the innocent and, for the sake of a second joining in marriage, act in criminal fashion against the first, it is commanded that when the first wife is dismissed, a second may not be taken while the first lives” (Commentaries on Matthew 3:19:9 – 398 AD)

Pope Innocent I

“The practice is observed by all of regarding as an adulteress a woman who marries a second time while her husband yet lives, and permission to do penance is not granted her until one of them is dead” (Letters 2:13:15 – 408 AD)

Augustine

“Neither can it rightly be held that a husband who dismisses his wife because of fornication and marries another does not commit adultery. For there is also adultery on the part of those who, after the repudiation of their former wives because of fornication, marry others. This adultery, nevertheless, is certainly less serious than that of men who dismiss their wives for reasons other than fornication and take other wives. Therefore, when we say: ‘Whoever marries a woman dismissed by her husband for reason other than fornication commits adultery,’ undoubtedly we speak the truth. But we do not thereby acquit of this crime the man who marries a woman who was dismissed because of fornication. We do not doubt in the least that both are adulterers. We do indeed pronounce him an adulterer who dismissed his wife for cause other than fornication and marries another, nor do we thereby defend from the taint of this sin the man who dismissed his wife because of fornication and marries another. We recognize that both are adulterers, though the sin of one is more grave than that of the other. No one is so unreasonable to say that a man who marries a woman whose husband has dismissed her because of fornication is not an adulterer, while maintaining that a man who marries a woman dismissed without the ground of fornication is an adulterer. Both of these men are guilty of adultery” (Adulterous Marriages 1:9:9 – 419 AD)

“A woman begins to be the wife of no later husband unless she has ceased to be the wife of a former one. She will cease to be the wife of a former one, however, if that husband should die, not if he commit fornication. A spouse, therefore, is lawfully dismissed for cause of fornication; but the bond of chastity remains. That is why a man is guilty of adultery if he marries a woman who has been dismissed even for this very reason of fornication” (Adulterous Marriages 2:4:4 – 419 AD)

“Undoubtedly the substance of the sacrament is of this bond, so that when man and woman have been joined in marriage they must continue inseparably as long as they live, nor is it allowed for one spouse to be separated from the other except for cause of fornication. For this is preserved in the case of Christ and the Church, so that, as a living one with a living one, there is no divorce, no separation forever” (Marriage and Concupiscence 1:10:11 – 419 AD)

“In marriage, however, let the blessings of marriage be loved: offspring, fidelity, and the sacramental bond. Offspring, not so much because it may be born, but because it can be reborn; for it is born to punishment unless it be reborn to life. Fidelity, but not such as even the unbelievers have among themselves, ardent as they are for the flesh. . . . The sacramental bond, which they lose neither through separation nor through adultery, this the spouses should guard chastely and harmoniously” (Marriage and Concupiscence 1:17:19 – 419 AD)